tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89666690042472254282024-03-14T10:49:35.994-07:00Breathe In Breathe OutSympathetic humor for women who barely have time to breathe in and breathe out.Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.comBlogger221125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-37013667441081002482013-07-30T09:02:00.000-07:002013-07-30T09:02:53.035-07:00Happy Birthday Emily Bronte<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Today,
July 30<sup>th</sup>, is Emily Bronte’s birthday. She was born in 1818 in Thornton, Yorkshire. I’ve
compiled a list of suggestions for celebrating the great English novelist’s
special day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Read <i>Wuthering Heights</i>, of
course.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Watch Wuthering Heights, preferably
the version with Tom Hardy hotness.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Write a story in the tiniest
handwriting you can manage.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Go for a long, long, long walk.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">If the weather cooperates, stand
in the rain.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Act obsessive and morose to your
significant other.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Stand in a graveyard at night and
pound your chest.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Ponder digging up a grave.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Decide against it and make an impassioned
speech.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Tap on windows and creep out
hapless occupants within.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">In
all seriousness, thank you Emily, for the genius that is </span><i style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Wuthering Heights</i><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">. For
daring to write about arguably unlikable characters who nevertheless claim our
hearts in their struggle to hold on to love.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">If
you can’t get enough </span><i style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Wuthering Heights</i><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">, here’s a link to some covet-worthy </span><a href="http://bookriot.com/2013/07/29/10-pieces-of-wuthering-heights-swag/" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;" target="_blank">WH swag</a><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">.</span></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-9887728043840740002013-07-03T10:26:00.000-07:002013-07-03T10:26:33.778-07:00A Breather<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5VboRIKpKcH4o0MUFOZaLnBMe5wpM0WTTjkhW_BIlpuzZ1SZ1YYQh4donYgBDw3CDAd74lAh85g9Xo_CEep7Dr0-_5jKYuSG3CI1FI_SLEMuRblDTjG4gsmBVrfWdy-wbVCN9KyJBFBM/s640/Curiopic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5VboRIKpKcH4o0MUFOZaLnBMe5wpM0WTTjkhW_BIlpuzZ1SZ1YYQh4donYgBDw3CDAd74lAh85g9Xo_CEep7Dr0-_5jKYuSG3CI1FI_SLEMuRblDTjG4gsmBVrfWdy-wbVCN9KyJBFBM/s320/Curiopic.jpg" width="302" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
couldn’t resist having my picture taken in front of this tourist trap with the
word Curio in the name. The store was jam-packed with old-fashioned curio
cabinets like the enchanted one in my recently completed novel. I confess I
might’ve studied the contents to make sure nothing inside hinted at a magical
universe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
are back from a mini vacation in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. In an astonishing turn
of events, we actually did do some relaxing. Family vacations have always been
problematic for us, and often leave me wondering if other families work so hard
to have fun only to succumb to internal friction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
expect that despite Facebook photo albums showing smiley togetherness, most
vacations involve whining, frustration and one or two small disasters. At least
I hope we’re not the only ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
have a friend who refers to “Facebook Families” as a tongue-in-cheek commentary
on all those perfect photo albums and squeaky proud parent statuses. When I’m
having a less than FB-worthy moment, she reminds me that everyone has
those moments. They just don’t post them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
tend to take a more honest approach to life. Breathe In Breathe Out has
featured my messy journey through womanhood, motherhood, and my writing
pursuits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
I’ve always gotten the most responses to my candid posts about raising a son
who faces multiple challenges including Sensory Processing Disorder, ADHD and
Anxiety.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It’s
been a relief for me to be honest about the struggles we face. And it’s been an
honor to receive comments from moms dealing with similar circumstances.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
as you may have noticed, I’ve been posting less frequently. There are a couple
reasons for this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">First,
since this blog is supposed to be humorous, I feel like a failure when I’m not
funny. But guess what, sometimes life isn’t funny.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Second,
I’ve been focusing my dubious mental powers on writing and editing my latest
book.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Third,
I’ve been struggling with how to proceed with this blog. For a long time I
couldn’t pinpoint what was bothering me. The answer came in a gradual sort of
way, and, at the same time, all at once—rather like watching your children grow
up before your eyes, then one day looking over to find this full-sized human
you thought was an extension of yourself, but who is really a completely separate
and wonderful individual.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Breathe
In Breathe Out has been about my journey, but it’s not just my journey anymore.
In reality, it never was, but I shared it from my perspective—as a mother of a
special needs child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
this is also my son’s journey. I see that more every day. And as he heads into
middle school, I need to be more careful with how much of his life I share. It’s
HIS life! It’s mine too, but, yeah, you get it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Although
I love to encourage moms who face similar struggles, even that calling takes a
backseat to ensuring both of my sons' privacy as they face the challenge of growing up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
know you will understand as Breathe In Breathe Out takes a breather (hee hee.)
I will still share funny anecdotes as they ambush me and glimpses into the
spiral of insanity I call my career.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">And
I hope that my journey into writing YA fiction, which I LOVE, will spawn an
entirely new web presence—maybe a cool alter ego who eats sushi and runs
marathons. Then again, maybe I’ll stick to eating cheese and reading books.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Thanks
for being my friend here on Breathe In Breathe Out. I’m thankful for every
person who has read this blog. I hope you’ll stick around as I rethink,
reimagine, repurpose, and redesign my focus. I’m pretty sure it’s going to
require a new wardrobe. And some new shoes. Yes, definitely new shoes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-76466043836591282762013-06-10T10:34:00.001-07:002013-06-10T10:34:16.761-07:00Summer: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Bikini Bottoms<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Summer
a.k.a. misery and swimsuit angst.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
ended the school year with a nasty cold. Monkey came home an absolute grouch on
the last day of school. Not what you’d expect from a kid who’s been looking
forward to summer break since, oh, September.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Turned
out he was sick and the misery has made its way through the family, which is
why I’ve been MIA. When all you can come up with to blog about is the quantity
and consistency of mucous, it’s best not to post.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
now we’re finding our summer groove and despite my first sentence, I’m feeling
optimistic about the next two months.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">For
one thing, Kory has been court ordered to take a vacation. Well, not quite. But
he’s about to max out on vacation time, and was told he better take time off.
I, of course, have been telling him he needs a break for months. Not sure yet
what we’ll do. Nothing too spectacular. That’s just not how we roll.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In
order to avoid constant guilt over letting the boys have too much screen time,
I set up some daily requirements for math, reading and exercise. They’re pretty
minimal but at least at the end of the summer I won’t be handing little Neanderthals
back to the teachers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My
mom sent up a box of old comic books—Hagaar the Horrible, Beetle Bailey, B.C.,
Peanuts—and the boys are devouring them. Great literature? Maybe not, but
everything counts when you’re nurturing a life-long Neanderthal, I mean, reader.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtnNQJofeTFNq8SUifTZliSAFTuMb0JHKJ5nOE3JPLMWixCl1lHnhnhZ2hl3JTBxHJoFVad5V4uoVGzC_mZCFtDzXRhv48f8UjpS0q-98VoTbT8jqh0Vyo0SM25X_dgCJ66OGMyEgR6PY/s1600/summerreading.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtnNQJofeTFNq8SUifTZliSAFTuMb0JHKJ5nOE3JPLMWixCl1lHnhnhZ2hl3JTBxHJoFVad5V4uoVGzC_mZCFtDzXRhv48f8UjpS0q-98VoTbT8jqh0Vyo0SM25X_dgCJ66OGMyEgR6PY/s320/summerreading.jpg" width="289" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Monkey
is taking drum lessons, going to band camp, and banging the heck out of his
snare drum on a daily basis. He’s not interested in using the practice pad, so
we’re urging him to keep the pounding to daylight hours.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
wish I could say my yearly swimsuit search was over. As if I didn’t already
need Xanax just to face swimsuit season, this year Target.com is determined to
fit me with a straight jacket for all my water fun needs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I ordered a swim top
and shorts and received the top and a pair of bikini bottoms. The bottoms were …
unacceptable. I tried again and received another bikini bottom instead of the
shorts. I called and had the pleasure of speaking to a highschooler about my
swimwear needs. He told me the website was in error and to try ordering my
shorts again in a week. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Today
I went back to Target.com and it’s obvious someone attempted to correct the
error. The swim shorts that were incorrectly labeled bikini bottoms have been
changed to swim shorts. The verbiage is correct for the black swim shorts and
the blue swim shorts, but the purple swim shorts I want are still labeled
bikini bottoms. I called and talked to someone from Mexico about my problem. He
said he’d submit a report and I could check back in a few days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Meanwhile,
I have that funny old ad snafu running through my head:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>Our
swimsuits are sensational! They’re simply the tops!</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Looks
like I’ll be making do with last year’s bathing suit a little while longer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">If
you’re luckier than me, lounging by the pool in adequate swimwear, and looking
for a good read, I have a suggestion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My
friend Carla’s book<i> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Five-Days-Skye-Novel-ebook/dp/B00CHE7TNI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370885096&sr=8-1&keywords=Five+Days+in+Skye" target="_blank">Five Days in Skye</a> </i>is just the kind of delicious escape read
that begs for a towel and umbrella drink. It releases today!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So
what does this summer hold for you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-70902538347524458652013-05-23T09:40:00.000-07:002013-05-23T09:40:24.140-07:00The Avengers<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Monkey
is afraid of bees. Really, really afraid. I’d go so far as to call it a phobia.
So I looked up fear of bees and discovered that it’s called either Apiphobia or
Melissophobia. Who comes up with this stuff? Apiphobia sounds believable, but
if you tell someone you have Melissophobia they’re going to ask you why the
heck you’re afraid of people named Melissa. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Furthermore,
if the fear of bees is called Melissophobia then WHAT pray tell IS the fear of
people named Melissa called? Beeophobia?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Silly
scientific community.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Anyway,
it’s hard to get Monkey outdoors in the summer. This is mostly because of
his love affair with screens, but the Apiphobia definitely contributes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
other day Kory came home from one of his strange shopping rambles and said, “I
found something that might help our son go outside.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
expected an insect-repelling bracelet or something. We’ve tried them in the
past. But he held up an electricity-charged tennis racket, a bug zapper. Of
course, my first question was, “What will it do to people?” I wasn’t born
yesterday. Monkey has a little brother who is at times quite vexing. I could see
the temptation becoming more than a big brother can bear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Anyway,
Kory assured me it was mostly harmless to humans.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So
the other day we planned to take the dog to a nearby field for some exercise.
Monkey raised his usual objections (bees!), but Kory pulled out the bug zapper.
Thus armed, our less-than-intrepid 11-year-old stepped out into the wilderness
of suburbia. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">As
you might guess, having the bug zapper prompted Monkey to search out bugs for annihilation.
But it’s spring in Colorado. We’ve had approximately two and a half warm days.
There weren’t a lot of bugs roaming the sidewalks. And turns out it’s hard to
angle the electrified racket to zap a tiny ant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
trudged out of our neighborhood and into the grass and packed dirt of the
nearby field. Monkey kept his eyes on the ground, searching for victims. And
then, a big black beetle ambled across the path.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Monkey
froze, zeroing in on the bug. He yelled for his brother to come. They hovered over
their target, exited, blood-thirsty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">You
see, the beetle was exactly like the one who viciously killed Monkey’s
<a href="http://www.breathenbreatheout.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-halloween-bug-story_19.html" target="_blank">roley poley</a> last October while we were out for a walk. They resurrected the travesty of the roley
poley’s demise and pinned it on this beetle representative.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Things
went a little<i> Lord of the Flies</i>. Shouts of “The roley poley shall be avenged!”
rang out. The racket was raised. Chunky had found a trident-like stick which he
waved in the air in support of his brother’s campaign.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
thought, this is a good time to teach them about appreciating nature, the
sanctity of life, the fact that vengeance belongs to the Lord.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Then
I walked away. I can’t justify it. I just did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Whoops,
hollers, and the distinct zip of electricity followed. I cringed as they
shouted, “We are avenged!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
joined Kory up on top of the hill, ready to lay the blame for our vicious
children on his Y chromosome contribution. I found him scooping up another
black beetle from the path. He tossed it into the weeds, saving it from the
oncoming monsters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
boys joined us, pink-cheeked and triumphant. Monkey held up the racket. “It
works, Dad!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Then
he handed his weapon, his defense against bees, his “safety net” to me and ran
off to play with the dog.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-76336607873951569012013-05-16T15:21:00.000-07:002013-05-16T15:21:07.983-07:00Restless in Turtle Land<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It
had to be done.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">On
Monday I moved our female turtle, Molly, into her own house. The amazing habitat my husband built just
wasn’t big enough for two anymore. Ever since Molly came out of hibernation,
Roger has made the poor girl’s existence a nightmare. If she so much as pokes
her face out of the substrate, he thinks it’s time for some lovin’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">She
wasn’t eating or bathing. She wouldn’t even come out from under her rock. Poor
thing needed some intervention.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So
I fixed up a plastic crate with rocks, wood chips, a private bath and a
flower-festooned clay hut. Then I transferred Molly to her new digs. She loves
it! Now she comes out, eats, and tootles around her home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUbLYhUhnJs_4XodPWQGsamfU5vPCM8yjP27e-wRtLE0i6MrPxm9oxlQW6K5LLW1yPWYaL2c0qhFOXCADI_A5OgWPKuh-kvhDN8Oh_O3pv3SFl86qjCB7x_CQrJdrn9tszCg3Ez-sebHk/s1600/Mollyhome.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUbLYhUhnJs_4XodPWQGsamfU5vPCM8yjP27e-wRtLE0i6MrPxm9oxlQW6K5LLW1yPWYaL2c0qhFOXCADI_A5OgWPKuh-kvhDN8Oh_O3pv3SFl86qjCB7x_CQrJdrn9tszCg3Ez-sebHk/s320/Mollyhome.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
only problem is, I had to put Molly’s house inside the bigger habitat so she’d
get the light and heat she needs from the special lamps. Since her new home is
clear plastic, Roger can still see the object of his affection. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2hJs-RjQDd6f0IfWpbnZCii1GmXtV2A_jSQQ5tnQbu3gc6muwhTKSSZlTtUno6TcQdc0TqDBtc35Ke6D5_JvcN4q1dphI2XzMGQ63etj7PputDU_YuJeP6Wg0HJ-11xhw8TNuhyjqKEo/s1600/lonelyRoger.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2hJs-RjQDd6f0IfWpbnZCii1GmXtV2A_jSQQ5tnQbu3gc6muwhTKSSZlTtUno6TcQdc0TqDBtc35Ke6D5_JvcN4q1dphI2XzMGQ63etj7PputDU_YuJeP6Wg0HJ-11xhw8TNuhyjqKEo/s320/lonelyRoger.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
crawls along the edge like a lovesick peeping tom, clawing at the plastic. I
think if he could howl, he would. I’m hoping time will calm his wild turtle
urges, but until then it’s bachelorhood for Roger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
thing is, I know how he feels. And I’m not referring to spring time friskiness. (We won’t go there.) I know what it’s like to
see the thing I want yet be blocked by a barrier I don’t understand. I see my
goal of publication and I scratch away, trying to move toward it, and I think, “Why
can’t I get there? Why can’t I have that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Poor
Roger and me. We need a distraction. We need to appreciate the stuff we have.
Maybe we should take up a hobby. What if I dipped him in paint and let him
crawl over a canvas? That would keep us both occupied for a while, and maybe
Turtle Art would be the next big thing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>Anyone
else out their frustrated? What’s the goal you can see but just can’t get to? <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>And
how much would you pay for art created by a licentious turtle?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-26863849018094073302013-05-08T11:04:00.000-07:002013-05-08T11:04:38.951-07:00Living in ADHD World<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
forget that other people don’t live in ADHD world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">It’s
a shock to encounter someone who seems to have no experience with “Look!
Shiny!” thought patterns and actions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When my kids were little, a successful outing was one in which I didn’t end up
abandoning my full shopping cart to chase them across the store dodging people
and displays while yelling, “Stop! Wait for Mommy.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So when we visited a beauty supply store and Monkey set about
rearranging cardboard price signs on the store’s barber shop chairs, well, to
me that was minor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
clerk checking me out said, “Have you heard of Super Nanny?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
said, “Yes, I’ve seen the show.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">With
a straight face, she said, “You should call her.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
turned around to look at my kids, “Really? I thought things were going well.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It’s
not that I allow my kids to be destructive. It’s not that we don’t talk about
respecting others and their property. And hey, sometimes they do mess up. They’re kids. They break things and need to apologize or help fix them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
here’s where I think my philosophy differs, especially from a traditional
child-rearing mindset.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
don’t think it’s wrong to touch things. I don’t think it’s wrong to be loud in
certain situations. I don’t think it’s wrong to talk about farting. To let your
silliness hang out sometimes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In
our house we deal with some really hard issues. If you follow this blog you
know my son struggles with anxiety and it’s been a crushing weight at times. When
you face dark monsters like Anxiety, or Autism, or Special Needs, you learn not
fear Messy, Loud, and Rambunctious. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Yesterday
I took my eleven-year-old to band instrument selection night. Monkey has an
amazing ear for music and could carry a tune before he could speak in full
sentences. We would love to see him use the gift he’s been given and enjoy
making music.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
we had a bit of a bumpy start last night. Our number was called and we walked
over to the auditioner who stood by a table of instruments. Monkey immediately
ran his fingers over an oboe. We sat down, talked with the man, then Monkey got
to try blowing into a trumpet. Since we’d also expressed interest in
percussion, the guy notified one of the band teachers that
Monkey wanted to try out for that, then he told my son to go wait in line while
he talked to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Monkey
walked away and the auditioner turned to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“I’m
concerned with how he would treat the instruments.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
didn’t know where the comment came from. “What do you mean?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
guy explained that brass instruments are delicate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
still couldn’t follow. It’s not like Monkey would sword fight with a trumpet. I
said as much, and then it dawned on me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“Oh,”
I said, “you’re worried because he touched the instruments when we came over.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
guy nodded. “He’d have to learn to listen to the band instructor.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Well,
of course he would, along with every other kid experiencing band for the first
time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
wasn’t angry and this man wasn’t mean, but I did wonder how he came to be in
this position and still be unfamiliar with kids like Monkey. Kids who learn
with their eyes, ears AND hands. Monkey wasn’t disrespectful or destructive. In
my book, he’d done nothing wrong. But this guy saw “irresponsible” written all
over him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifw4xOt02hYdTpt_608Z6WsORE506l1OKXCCKqgGicjwrGw95gRDAsGaHSVO6a4wzmMTnR_K4F-Gnyr7jt9ZpvC0IaQgUkLztRX_6laZcihKoi3xOCyYO_uzNBrQMgSb_SOXCv2EOpMaQ/s1600/439503_samba.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifw4xOt02hYdTpt_608Z6WsORE506l1OKXCCKqgGicjwrGw95gRDAsGaHSVO6a4wzmMTnR_K4F-Gnyr7jt9ZpvC0IaQgUkLztRX_6laZcihKoi3xOCyYO_uzNBrQMgSb_SOXCv2EOpMaQ/s1600/439503_samba.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="http://www.sxc.hu/profile/sanspek" target="_blank">Sander Spek</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">We
moved on to the percussion test where Monkey’s hands-on approach didn’t faze
the instructor. He remarked on Monkey’s ear, recommended private
lessons to get ready for band, and offered encouragement. We left excited about
percussion.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
recognize that organizing brand new middle-schoolers who’ve never played an
instrument into a band is a Herculean task, and I admire and appreciate the
staff dedicated to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Raising
kids is a Herculean task as well. We don’t all do it the same way. As moms it’s
easy to be hard on ourselves when we’re confronted with an attitude toward
child-rearing that’s different from our own. We second guess ourselves. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Maybe
I should’ve stopped my kids from rearranging the price tags on the chairs in
the store. Or maybe it was okay to be happy that we got through an outing with
my sanity intact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Maybe
I should’ve warned Monkey not to touch anything last night.</span><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Or
maybe it was okay that my attention was focused on helping my son discover his
gift of music.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Our family lives in ADHD world. Some things we fight for and some things we let
slide. We apologize when we’ve done wrong, but we also give ourselves grace
when we can’t help but chase the squirrel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>How
about you? What world do you live in? How do you handle it when aliens come to visit?</b></span></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-60611186280097322972013-04-26T15:26:00.000-07:002013-04-26T15:26:21.526-07:00Piece of Cake<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Right
now I’m trying really hard not to eat cake. The thing is, it seems like eating cake might make my day better and, you see, I have so much of it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
had my own little <a href="http://www.cakewrecks.com/" target="_blank">Cake Wreck</a> yesterday. I didn’t take pictures
because it was just your run-of-the-mill crumb and frosting collapse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Yesterday
was Chunky’s birthday. Poor kid. I bombed my role of party planner. As you know
I’ve been a little distracted with a certain novel, so when Chunky asked for a
Minecraft party, I groaned and said, “I don’t know how to do a Minecraft party.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
said, “How about a vampire party then?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
said, “Ok, you can have a Minecraft party.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
as we got closer to last weekend’s conference and I got crazier with my
deadline, I realized I couldn’t pull off a party at home. We agreed to have it
at LaserQuest and have Minecraft-themed food.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Yeah,
that fell apart too. Honestly, at one time I was good at this stuff. We once had
a <a href="http://www.breathenbreatheout.blogspot.com/2010/04/here-there-be-pirates.html" target="_blank">pirate-themed</a> birthday at our house with 34 kids in attendance. Yes, you read
that right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
I had to knock my youngest’s expectations down once again when I realized my
ideas for cubed food and green Minecraft Rice Krispie treats wouldn’t
materialize without magic. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
didn’t mind as long as we could construct an elaborate, many-flavored cake
landscape complete with mountains, a canyon, and a lake. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
talked him down to a simple layered cake. And then that fell apart! Talk about
shredding my Super Mom cape. Chunky was a good sport when we had to run out
last minute and buy a cake, and he did have a lot of fun at his party.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Me,
I’m feeling the weight of what I didn’t do this last month. I didn’t:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Pull together an awesome
Minecraft party.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Clean my house. At all.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Cook a nutritious meal.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Shower regularly.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Feed the turtles more than a
couple times a week, which is about how often they should eat, but Roger sits
in his food dish and looks at me with sad turtle eyes. Guilt!</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Yes, I did finish a book. And I did pitch that book and get a request for the manuscript from an editor. Woohoo!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix0nquNMgUot4Ab2pR-DZlUm7zXp5oqgdardZvST50-43ReZuZmUoCAnZw9RaIWAPYeijxazdi_eWAkFxfc7_iREV_E54-R0bPwnxPczxE0xo770VF2g7tkmSVb3XFPI5WakPrz2pwgcc/s1600/521700_602689179742779_1482742297_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix0nquNMgUot4Ab2pR-DZlUm7zXp5oqgdardZvST50-43ReZuZmUoCAnZw9RaIWAPYeijxazdi_eWAkFxfc7_iREV_E54-R0bPwnxPczxE0xo770VF2g7tkmSVb3XFPI5WakPrz2pwgcc/s320/521700_602689179742779_1482742297_n.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">As
I head back into another month of intensive editing on this story, I’m very
aware of the choices I make in order to pursue this dream. I sometimes let my
expectations and other’s expectations cause me guilt.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
the truth is, Chunky had a fantastic day yesterday. He happened to be off
school on his birthday and we spent the whole day together. I didn’t touch my
manuscript once, but I did give my nine-year-old lots of hugs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I’ve
intentionally let the housework slide and though it bugs me, my life’s goal isn’t
to die and have people say, “Her house was always clean.” I hope they have
something more interesting to say, even if it’s just, “Evangeline was never one
to pass up cake.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>What
about you? Is there an expectation you’ve let go—or trampled—in order to
pursue a worthy goal. Will people talk about your clean house at your funeral?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">By
the way, I totally ate a piece of cake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-60444203083040051662013-04-18T15:37:00.000-07:002013-04-18T15:37:22.376-07:00Hello, My Name Is<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Hello
all! I’m putting together all my last minute stuff for the <a href="http://pikespeakwriters.com/html/ppwc.html" target="_blank">Pikes Peak Writers Conference</a> this weekend, including practicing my pitch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">For
non-writers, at conferences you can request pitch appointments with agents and
editors. In these appointments you have a few minutes face time with an industry
guru. You give them a pitch—a short, intriguing explanation of your book—if they
like it, they might ask you to query them with a few chapters of your
manuscript.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Some
organizations and industry professionals advise you to memorize your pitch. For
the last few days I’ve been trying to do just that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
novels that fall under the fantasy category require extra explanation and my
story world is complex. As I ran through my pitch either in my head or out loud
in the shower, I kept flubbing it. So I’d go back and start with the easy part…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“Hello,
my name is Evangeline Denmark.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I’ve
done this so many times in the last few days that now I cannot separate “Hello,
my name is Evangeline Denmark” from “Hello, my name Inigo Montoya.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/i3W5GDkgf2w" width="560"></iframe></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
phrases are stuck together floating around in my overworked gray matter. Which
isn’t all bad. It worked for Inigo Montoya after all. His mantra saw him
through to the end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
somehow I don’t think shouting “Hello, my name is Evangeline Denmark” and
skewering agents with pens will get the desired result.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Thankfully,
this afternoon a couple of writer friends helped me break the mold I’d gotten
stuck in. They encouraged me to go for a conversational, less practiced,
approach. After all, who isn’t better at conversing than shouting prepared speeches
at the point of a sword?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Inigo
might not approve of my new tactic, but I hope it gets the job done.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>So,
writers out there, have you had any memorable pitch appointments?</b>
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>Non-writers,
share some interview stories. I once pretended, during a job interview, that I
was a celebrity being interviewed on TV. I did NOT get the job.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-69113778429902615582013-04-10T11:36:00.000-07:002013-04-10T11:36:42.336-07:00Demons in the Drains<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In
my last blog I was looking forward to being <a href="http://www.breathenbreatheout.blogspot.com/2013/03/human-again.html" target="_blank">Human Again</a> in April. Well, it’s
April and I’m not human yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Many
of you know I’m trying to finish my young adult urban fantasy novel for a
conference this month. Progress is good. I’m at around 96,000 words and closing
in on the finish, but there have been a few hiccups in my real world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">At
the end of March I took my mother in for what we thought was a detached retina.
After two doctor visits, we were told she’d had a stroke and would never regain
the vision she lost in her left eye.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Mom
is very positive about the whole thing and thinking of designing a line of
bedazzled eye patches for her online <a href="http://www.donitakpaul.com/treasure/" target="_blank">Dragon Lady Shoppe</a>. We also thought about
dressing her bunny up as a parrot to go with her new pirate look. Our poor pets
probably don’t have a clue what animal they actually are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
don’t know much more about Mom’s condition as we are waiting to have tests and
get results back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So
we managed to get through our crisis and Spring Break which is always a bit of
a crisis too, and get back on track. Then Kory went on a business trip. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In
just a little over 24 hours:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I got one of<i> those</i> calls from the
school. “My son said what? MY son?! Put him on the phone!”<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The boys’ toilet spewed water all
over the bathroom. I suspect a poltergeist. Now that they no longer flush
toys and plastic cups, I fail to see what biodegradable substance could’ve
caused such an epic clog.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We had a blizzard.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The dog took allergy medicine.
She seems fine and not once has she complained of a runny nose, sneezing,
or itchy eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The kitchen sink clogged.
Poltergeist again?<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Monkey came down with a virus.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">When
Kory texted that he’d landed in Denver I told him both boys were in bed with me
(Monkey sick, Chunky had a nightmare) and that he should just find a hotel
room. My exact words were, “Save yourself!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
came home anyway. Good because he fixed the sink. Bad because three adult-sized
bodies (plus allergy-free dog) in one bed does not make for a good night’s
sleep. At least we managed to get Chunky back to his bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My
husband teased me that he couldn’t leave me alone for one night. He knows I can
handle things, it’s just that when Kory’s away, the poltergeists come out to
play.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
know I’m not the only one who’s experienced disaster while my spouse was gone.
Please, share your stories. It’s a less violent way to relieve stress than
attacking said spouse the moment he or she returns.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-7788813809483600242013-03-21T18:02:00.001-07:002013-03-21T18:02:47.237-07:00Human Again<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MetM68Lr9U8" width="560"></iframe></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I’ve
found myself humming this song over the past couple of weeks. Between my
extremely restrictive diet and my commitment to write two thousand words every day,
March hasn’t been much fun. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When
I think about things I want to do, like eat a piece of cheese, read Cassandra
Clare’s <i>Clockwork Princess</i>, or get a pedicure, I say to myself, “I can do that
in April when I’m human again.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When
my friends ask how long I’ll be doing this ludicrous diet, I answer, “I’ll be
human again in April.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When
my husband asks if we could have a conversation about something other than airships
and clockwork people, I tell him, “When I get this book done, I’ll be human
again.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">When
Monkey asked me why I had so much gray hair, well, I couldn't say “I’ll have
dark hair in April when I’m human again.” Monkey is a literal child and comes
up with enough reasons to panic on his own. When he asked, “Is it because we’re
driving you nuts?” I told him that was just something moms say. Then I promised
to get my hair colored in April.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It
may seem like I’ve become some unkempt, starving, cranky writer. It seems that
way to me some days. But in fact, this month taught me some really valuable
lessons.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I CAN write fast if I need to.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I CAN stick to a schedule and
prioritize tasks.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I CAN encourage my boys to take
more responsibility for their own needs.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">For
most of my writing journey, when outside pressures pulled at me, I’d tell
myself, “You need to put ______ first. After all, you don’t have a contract, so
you’re not a real writer.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Yeah,
it was a stupid, unprofessional message to give myself, but I don’t have to
explain Mom Guilt to you. Some mornings it beats you to the coffee pot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
having this goal to finish my novel before the conference I’m attending next
month legitimized the decision to put my writing first. It forced me to do
laundry and meal planning on the weekend. Ok, so the meal planning involved dumping ingredients together and freezing them and having convenience foods on hand for the kids. But for me that's huge. My kids are going to look back on my deadlines with fondness, remembering those weeks as the only times Mom let them have Hot Pockets.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">And
by getting my word count done during the day, I had more focus for mom stuff in
the evenings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">You
might not think it to look at me with my grays showing and my house in
disarray, but my month as a full-on crazy writer has done me and my family
good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
don’t get me wrong. I’m ready to be human again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-72157027753268321162013-03-07T16:37:00.000-08:002013-03-07T16:37:46.656-08:00A Slap in the Face and a Move Toward Grace<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">I
started this blog yesterday then abandoned it when the words wouldn't come
together. The closer something is to my heart the harder it is to express it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Then,
after a rough day in which I had to coax and threaten my son into to going to
school, taking his medicine, and sitting down for dinner, I saw this meme.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_BtLN0PhdvMJ5RaVt43SlqoAZmOm8cYsDdPKR6u0n7c5SKpOBggv3O4scQprhM0aW-_ptibUDbiZNtTdIZIXJ5iju5EaMml9iZslIHeYKz5XVA7KMTjFPQbaH34j-v8G8MZW8op99bnQ/s1600/601513_458620554206272_476563289_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_BtLN0PhdvMJ5RaVt43SlqoAZmOm8cYsDdPKR6u0n7c5SKpOBggv3O4scQprhM0aW-_ptibUDbiZNtTdIZIXJ5iju5EaMml9iZslIHeYKz5XVA7KMTjFPQbaH34j-v8G8MZW8op99bnQ/s320/601513_458620554206272_476563289_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I was livid.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">“It’s
on! I’m writing a blog.” I told my husband, who knew I’d already been stewing
on this topic.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
realize that when people post these things, they probably find them funny.
Maybe they’ve heard talk of over-diagnosis. Maybe they work in some capacity
where they see the worst of the worst in parenting. Maybe they
themselves were perfect parents so they have room to judge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
probably, they just think this is funny.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEGDQbTEhdqs5xe62lMuiCpsR6hoe5m9OOAgjwaIwXh1jjlUqtTrQvNtMk5UVL83ln9nWALGxRWJXSH_L3bMB00zxTuIbsuG9evNcftDb3OQ8kqjKj9wScKafoIIkJlrdGNwunw2Aq5BQ/s1600/166726_573613729315765_2085331511_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEGDQbTEhdqs5xe62lMuiCpsR6hoe5m9OOAgjwaIwXh1jjlUqtTrQvNtMk5UVL83ln9nWALGxRWJXSH_L3bMB00zxTuIbsuG9evNcftDb3OQ8kqjKj9wScKafoIIkJlrdGNwunw2Aq5BQ/s320/166726_573613729315765_2085331511_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">It’s
not funny. Or cute.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Every
time a message like this is posted there’s a mom—many moms—who feel slapped in
the face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Moms
like me who knew something was wrong when their child stared at corners as an
infant, couldn't talk at 3, and body-slammed people and furniture and walls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Moms
like my friend whose son bounced repetitively and lined up cars in perfect
parking lots as a toddler.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Moms
like an acquaintance who've had psychologists shake their heads in dismay over their child's emotional outbursts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Moms
who research vaccines, food intolerance, and therapies and read every book they
can find that might help them unlock the mystery of their child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Do
they ask for ADHD drugs because they don’t want to deal
with difficult behavior?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">No.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">News
flash: ADHD medication doesn’t magically make your child easy to handle. And it
DOESN’T WORK on a brain not affected by ADHD.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Do
these moms run to the teacher, crying foul because their child is disciplined
for being disruptive in class?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">No.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">They
spend hours in meetings with school professionals discussing ways to help their
child stay afloat in the rapids of mainstream education.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">These
moms pray, and cry, and face a relentless demon called Failure day after day
after day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">They
get up in the morning and they love and care for those kids others label <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Bad<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Trouble-maker<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Spoiled<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Immature<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Delinquent <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When I see memes like the ones above, my first reaction is, How
dare you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">How dare you presume to know what I’ve been through? What my friends have been through. How dare you label my child? And me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But last night, after stewing and praying and stewing some more,
I realized there’s another possible motivation for posting these hurtful messages.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">These people suffered as kids. No one knew or cared that they couldn't concentrate
in class, couldn't control certain impulses, couldn't “behave” like everyone
else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">They were called<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Bad<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Trouble-maker<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Spoiled<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Immature<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Delinquent<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">And
worse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Now,
they see moms and schools and medical professionals trying to help kids
suffering as they did, and maybe it hurts. Maybe they wish someone had looked
at them with sympathy rather than censure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
don’t know if this realization will change my knee-jerk reaction, but I hope it
will at least soften my heart toward those I'd like to pummel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
recognize that arguments rage about ADHD, autism, and developmental and behavioral
disorders. I don’t want to feed the negative emotion associated with any
particular position. I do want to applaud parents, educators, and medical
professionals who seek answers and help, ways to cope, ways to overcome, ways
to live with, ways to encourage, ways to uplift and not diminish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In
that spirit, here are two links that blessed me this week. The first is a video
featuring an exceptional child with autism and sensory processing disorder who
explains what SPD entails. When I shared it on Facebook it was with the words, "This is my world!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/D1G5ssZlVUw" width="420"></iframe></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
second is the story of a rock star waiter in Houston who stood up for a family with a special needs child. People like this
man give moms like me a second wind. May God bless his socks off!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span><a href="http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/waiter-refused-customer-becomes-hero-144638357--finance.html" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;" target="_blank">http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/waiter-refused-customer-becomes-hero-144638357--finance.html</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Let's try to give each other grace people.</span></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-18797016148443842132013-02-28T17:00:00.000-08:002013-02-28T17:00:02.323-08:00A Crash is Coming<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
did something stupid. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
registered for a conference in April (not the stupid part) and signed up to
pitch the novel I’m currently writing (clearly the stupid part!) </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Most writers' conferences make it a rule that you can’t pitch a novel that isn’t complete. It
makes sense. I mean how frustrating would it be for an agent or editor to hear
from an author with a great book idea then find out the project isn’t done?
Probably about as frustrating as being an author with a great book idea and
only a month to complete the manuscript!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
get stupider.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
also decided that March should be a weight-loss month for me. I purchased a
diet product that has worked in the past and plan to start the 26 day program
March 1<sup>st</sup>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
other day I optimistically told my husband that I’d spend the month of March writing
and NOT eating.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Kory
gave me a look and said, “Honey, when have those two things EVER gone together?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Sigh. He just had to go and yank the purple out of my rainbow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
he’s right. One of my critique partners once said, “I’d love to see your face
while you write this stuff.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
told her, “It looks like this” and pantomimed one hand on the keyboard, the
other stuffing my face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It’s
been scientifically proven (I don’t know by whom) that chewing helps you think.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So
here are the facts:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I have to write roughly 60,000
words to finish my novel.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #4c4c4c; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I. Can’t. Eat.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Here
are my options:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Abandon all hope of losing weight
and just do whatever it takes to finish the novel. My critique group advocated
for this approach, but I fear if I take their advice I may
have a finished novel and not be able to fit through the conference doors.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Learn to like celery.</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5SWUyl0WDhf7lw03GQMrFWEUrke9wLE3GZBHipS2uNK9M32iSvCbVlnaeFWBEEEQazV-9kUI-hAQmp6qQGLrpL3MS4mRKDgQF3Px65xQNlxJyf2io6b9mib8a7m6vAOhKrto9ttIapi0/s1600/celerysmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5SWUyl0WDhf7lw03GQMrFWEUrke9wLE3GZBHipS2uNK9M32iSvCbVlnaeFWBEEEQazV-9kUI-hAQmp6qQGLrpL3MS4mRKDgQF3Px65xQNlxJyf2io6b9mib8a7m6vAOhKrto9ttIapi0/s320/celerysmall.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Mmmm! I love celery! Celery is the best thing that ever happened
to this world. I mean, it’s so much better than rhubarb, which tastes so awful
people try to mask it with strawberries of all things.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">At this point in the blog, some well-meaning reader is thinking,
“I’m going to leave Evangeline a comment and tell her to just develop better
eating habits. Eat healthy and with an eye to moderation. Get plenty of rest
and exercise. And drink water. Getting healthy requires a lifestyle change, not
a binge diet.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Well-meaning reader, you are absolutely right. But unlike my
approach to skin care and housework (do enough to get by) with dieting, it’s
all or nothing. I have two settings:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Subsist on 500 calories a day</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Eat everything in sight.</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">I’m not saying this is as it should be, but for some reason that’s how my willpower works. Or doesn’t.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">So as we head into March, I worry for my family. I worry for my
wordcount. I worry for the victims of my coming crankiness. I worry for the
characters in my novel, who already live in a dystopian world and will likely
be forced to eat something really nasty, like rhubarb, because their insane
creator is on a crash diet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-6369353002720625142013-02-21T12:15:00.000-08:002013-02-21T12:15:58.832-08:00Rap Not Required<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">For
the past couple of weeks I’ve been writing chapters from my male characters’
point of views. Because I’m a glutton for punishment and because I get myself
in over my head regularly when I’m writing, I decided to include TWO teenage
male POV characters in my Work in Progress.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Last
night when my husband got home I lamented the day’s dismal word count and
challenging subject. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLVXuwJ3Pz7Z-QNByKGjBaIQC3pCt3yftm8OGMfwxCpgrv9lxDtmRbMriW6S9iKn9vZIFehJIHpXiAL0ueozIOOLyC7rTcHJRNe3iItvh5KYyi2qpTPz0QeNV65J769v6zIHiIFQhhL4E/s1600/rapper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLVXuwJ3Pz7Z-QNByKGjBaIQC3pCt3yftm8OGMfwxCpgrv9lxDtmRbMriW6S9iKn9vZIFehJIHpXiAL0ueozIOOLyC7rTcHJRNe3iItvh5KYyi2qpTPz0QeNV65J769v6zIHiIFQhhL4E/s320/rapper.jpg" width="219" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">“I’m
having trouble writing from a 17-year-old boy’s perspective,” I told</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Kory.
“I just don’t think I understand them.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">His
response was, “No one understands 17-year-old boys, least of all 17-year-old boys.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“So
I shouldn’t ask them how they feel? Should I ask their mothers?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
shrugged.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I’m
not sure interviewing moms would help all that much. After all I’m the mother
of an 11-year-old boy and most of the time I have no idea what’s going through his
head. Unfortunately, I see this getting worse before it gets better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
often use music to “get to know” my characters. I find songs that relate to the
character’s journey or inner wounds, and by listening to them repeatedly I’m
better able to get in touch with that character’s emotions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Lately
I’ve been terrified that I was going to have to start listening to rap in order
to better understand a 17-year-old’s perspective. A pesky voice whispered that
I should “do the thing that scares me.” But rap? Did it have to be rap? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Rap
brings out the granny in me. I just don’t get it. I have no frame of reference
with which to interpret it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">And
yet I felt like I owed it to </span><i style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">somebody</i><span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> to listen to rap. How could my characters
be authentic if I didn't?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
the truth is we all experience the same emotions although we might react
differently or act upon them differently. The songs I pick for my characters
are really songs that help me get in touch with my own emotions. If I get to
that authentic place then I’ve grabbed hold of something universal whether I’m
writing from the perspective of a college girl, an invalid, or a 17-year-old
boy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
have a pretty good playlist going over on Spotify, and while there’s no rap on
it, there are quite a few songs that remind me how it feels to be confused,
afraid, angry, or in love. I hope my “boys” Blaise and Whit are living that out
on the page.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
if you happen to know a 17-year-old guy who enjoys talking about his feelings,
send him my way. I could use the help!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-6967110689919632332013-02-15T09:50:00.000-08:002013-02-15T09:50:01.947-08:00A Birthday, a Getaway and a New Understanding<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4OvxTUcOAP4OGV8rY3Hb8FPmFa6q5mzI8cV9Wrfub9PCoTmdUJqdGlxGz-nSSTYxp9Rv2eyUnTQ8T5FMTazVLedylV8y1OCejoIWIIZ0yedDmhsRcenMCFOqk8Hvt9yXmfxXeGw0BjAU/s1600/wolfpic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4OvxTUcOAP4OGV8rY3Hb8FPmFa6q5mzI8cV9Wrfub9PCoTmdUJqdGlxGz-nSSTYxp9Rv2eyUnTQ8T5FMTazVLedylV8y1OCejoIWIIZ0yedDmhsRcenMCFOqk8Hvt9yXmfxXeGw0BjAU/s320/wolfpic.jpg" width="272" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
shot a wolf! Well, ok, it was made of foam and not exactly<i> fast</i>. Still Kory
thought it was impressive that I managed to peg him right in the teeth. He made
sure we got a picture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
spent last weekend at Snow Mountain Ranch way up in the cold Colorado mountains
somewhere near Winter Park ski resort. We were celebrating Kory’s birthday. It
was one of those milestone birthdays, and it seems to have flapped my unflappable
husband. I don’t know why. The truth is, men just get cuter as they get older.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">See!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLWu6U2358PQ7mXGq7heWk_v1yS3dgbqK0N1lliYPKaFFN4embYFES1t3R3BkguiQ8z7gp_JG6dHn7hwJVzId4jGGJWlQve-EOO5oZak4Ok1Z0TAJlJ6w-Z7MEvQS6OFgaVFaQlrCj3fA/s1600/538173_4936861753134_872193644_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLWu6U2358PQ7mXGq7heWk_v1yS3dgbqK0N1lliYPKaFFN4embYFES1t3R3BkguiQ8z7gp_JG6dHn7hwJVzId4jGGJWlQve-EOO5oZak4Ok1Z0TAJlJ6w-Z7MEvQS6OFgaVFaQlrCj3fA/s320/538173_4936861753134_872193644_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-align: center;">Kory
is standing next to Chad and Dick, the two draft horses who pulled the sleigh
we rode in. We’d stopped for hot cocoa and Chad was literally chomping at the
bit. The driver explained that he had a thing for one of the horses pulling
another sleigh that had just left the cocoa stop. She said Chad was “embarrassing
himself,” but I thought it was cute that he was so anxious to follow his lady
back to the stables.</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPqd5VY6ja76wLdD9sKIdtnpqrlw1Va4goFTBvMb3rfb5aoCKuGjnAPtg9OdLTG-s8yzSbV607MgePCVR8CRVnHhg6cCchpRgX0O6FDOsVP7sU492wxAcp7eQypU0l-reT3jQMXfd6DJk/s1600/547825_4936444742709_810770642_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPqd5VY6ja76wLdD9sKIdtnpqrlw1Va4goFTBvMb3rfb5aoCKuGjnAPtg9OdLTG-s8yzSbV607MgePCVR8CRVnHhg6cCchpRgX0O6FDOsVP7sU492wxAcp7eQypU0l-reT3jQMXfd6DJk/s320/547825_4936444742709_810770642_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pretty boys!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNN51zH66c86ypynA_1A91V53TMrPsaq34lEfiLWtwr8HNe-mWrh0TN4D-uQ3DaQB4fr5drO3hI5DNn6N04JoSlxSoXu3G9Nn65mgOeZIWIckt3Vgv1_eDsv2h0suPN_qM6HdmbBzJdSs/s1600/604139_4942863703179_1370361446_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Speaking
of girl-crazy guys, Chunky could’ve spent hours in the craft center at Snow
Mountain Ranch, making gifts for his special friend. He painted a wooden heart
and wrote “Will you be my Valentine?” on it. Then he made her a leather
bracelet with dogs, cats and hearts. He was intent on buying her something in
the gift shop until I insisted he pick out something for himself instead.
Sometimes I envy that boy’s future wife. Is that weird to say?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNN51zH66c86ypynA_1A91V53TMrPsaq34lEfiLWtwr8HNe-mWrh0TN4D-uQ3DaQB4fr5drO3hI5DNn6N04JoSlxSoXu3G9Nn65mgOeZIWIckt3Vgv1_eDsv2h0suPN_qM6HdmbBzJdSs/s1600/604139_4942863703179_1370361446_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNN51zH66c86ypynA_1A91V53TMrPsaq34lEfiLWtwr8HNe-mWrh0TN4D-uQ3DaQB4fr5drO3hI5DNn6N04JoSlxSoXu3G9Nn65mgOeZIWIckt3Vgv1_eDsv2h0suPN_qM6HdmbBzJdSs/s320/604139_4942863703179_1370361446_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chunky snow-shoeing</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">I’m afraid the cold air was hard on Monkey who wasn’t quite over that awful respiratory virus we all had. His asthma plagued him the whole weekend, turning my Indoor Boy into a true hermit. So while Kory and Chunky went snow-shoeing, Monkey and I holed up in the room, watching movies and reading. What can I say; he is his mother’s child.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">I
think we learned from this little getaway that half of our family thinks a
vacation is for down time and the other half thinks vacations are for
adventure. Hopefully that knowledge will make future family vacations more
enjoyable for everyone.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">How about you? Would you rather spend your time away reading in a beach chair or
snorkeling? Does your preferred relaxation method clash with your spouse or
other family members?</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>Is
your husband getting annoyingly cuter as he ages?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-72872345765176739032013-02-05T15:36:00.000-08:002013-02-05T15:36:05.503-08:00Weekend of the Unwell<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Hello
from the Plague House! We don’t know what it was, but we do know it hated us
and wanted us dead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
don’t get sick very often. I wash my hands a lot. I mean, A LOT! So much that
my kids complain about my chapped skin when I touch them. So does my husband. I
have a bit of a Cinderella complex, so I tell them my hands are rough from
doing too many dishes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Monkey
often tells me I should take a week off. When I ask, “Who’s going to do the dishes?” he
always volunteers his dad. We think Monkey is excellent management material.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
was rather put out with this virus for having the nerve to attack me. First,
because it should be a universal law that moms are exempt from illness while
the rest of the family has it. And, second, because there should be at least
one bonus to having sandpaper skin like mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
I was not immune. For four days straight one or all of the three boys in the
house had a temperature over 100. Friday I had a migraine then realized I was
coming down with the crud. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">On Saturday I felt like death.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Freezing, aching
death. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Death under a frozen lake. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My
temperature was 99. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Yeah, that’s as spectacular as it gets.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The four of us spent the entire weekend on the couch, which really should be fumigated now. I
think we watched every episode of iCarly on Netflix. At one point we even watched a frequently interrupted,
but seemingly important, football game. We decided to root for the Ravens because
we liked the Edgar Allan Poe association, but even that proved a weak selling
point and we went back to iCarly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I’ve
lost count of how many trips to Walgreens my husband or I made. Saturday night
I made a late night run for Pedialyte popsicles and Gatorade. There’s no hiding
your condition when you slouch through the Walgreens check-out with four
different electrolyte replacement products. The cashier kept a good two feet
between herself and the counter between us then Lysoled everything I’d touched
as I walked out the door. I didn’t blame her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
next night when I went back to buy humidifiers I actually combed my hair and
kept the sniffling to a minimum. This time the cashier gave me a pleasant “Have
a good evening” and no sign of the cross as I left.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
only good thing about being sick is giving myself permission to sit around and
read all day. I started Cindi Madsen’s novel, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/All-Broken-Pieces-Cindi-Madsen/dp/1620611295/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360106986&sr=8-1&keywords=all+the+broken+pieces" target="_blank"><i>All the Broken Pieces</i></a>. I have to say, Cindi had a stroke of genius
when she combined a modern-day Frankenstein story with the angst of a high
school girl who wants to fit in <i>and</i>
be herself. Makes me wish I’d thought of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So
what makes you feel better when you’re sick? Movie marathons? Ice cream?
Frightening Walgreen’s employees with your wretchedness?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Have you ever stuck
tissues up your nose and waited for death?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">And if you were
Frankenstein’s monster, hiding on the fringes of society, what would you think
of Beyonce’s half-time show?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-38077837971640458492013-01-24T13:27:00.000-08:002013-01-24T13:27:44.186-08:00Nothing Says "I'm Sorry" Like . . .
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So
Chunky had a fight with his special friend. He came home Tuesday with a disjointed
tale of lunchroom rejection. I gave him the “Sometimes Girls Need Space” line,
which I’ve used on him more frequently this school year.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
expected it to blow over, but the situation escalated yesterday. His teacher
even called me, disbelief in her voice, to say that Chunky’s friend accused him
of calling her stupid. We agreed it didn’t sound at all like him but that we
weren’t getting the full story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
talked to Chunky who said it was all a misunderstanding, then I talked to his
friend’s mom, who had a few more pieces to the puzzle, but was also perplexed.
We agreed to talk to our feuding kiddos individually then allow them to work it
out on the playground.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">After
some discussion, I suggested to Chunky that he draw his friend an “I’m sorry”
picture. He liked the idea but chose bedtime to create his work of art.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
slumped into his room, aggravated that he was still drawing at his little table
when I wanted to tuck him in bed and catch an episode of Big Bang Theory. He
eagerly showed me his drawing, a comic book style page of stick figures and
captions divided by a giant SORRY across the middle. Chunky pointed to the
first strip.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“See,
Mom, he has a gun.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“What?!”
I glowered at the stick thug.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“It’s
ok.” Chunky pointed to the next frame. “See, he drops it and the other guy
says, ‘Phew!’”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“GUNS
ARE NOT APPROPRIATE FOR ‘I’M SORRY’ PICTURES!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Chunky
turned wide eyes on me. “But…he drops it.”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
dug my hands in my hair. Where were the rainbows and hearts necessary to
placate an 8-year-old girl?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Chunky
moved on to his second story strip. Two stick figures, one with long scribbled
hair, stood beside a giant ice cream cone. The boy’s stick arm ended in a clumpy
fist.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">At
least the ice cream was a good move. I pointed to one of the cones. “Why is
there ice cream here?”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“That’s
not ice cream. It’s a tree.” Chunky pointed to the next picture where a caption
above the boxer-fisted boy read ‘Nope,’ and explained. “See, she’s thinking ‘You
wouldn’t hit a girl, would you?’ and he says, ‘Nope,’ and he hits the tree
instead.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">*face
palm* <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">This
had to be the most violent apology in the history of greeting card expression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
decided to give up on the tree abuse (it was nearly 9:00 and no actual trees
were harmed), but I couldn’t let the gun thing go. I don’t think I managed to
fully communicate to my little boy why guns just don’t say “I’m sorry,” but
finally I convinced him to replace the gun with a snake. Less violent. Still
troubling. Especially considering Stick Boy dropped the snake in the next
picture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
thought bedtime was in sight, but Chunky started adding words to the giant
SORRY in the middle of the page. I leaned closer and almost groaned aloud as he
spelled out, “you misunderstood.”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
can only hope his little girl friend doesn’t yet have the emotional maturity to
realize that Chunky didn’t actually apologize. In fact, as most women know, in
the heat of an argument the words “I’m sorry you misunderstood” can sound a lot
like “You’re stupid.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
he didn’t mean it that way just like it never occurred to him that fight scenes
don’t convey repentance and hope for a happy future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Next
time, I’m going to recommend he skip all personal communication and go straight
for flowers and chocolate. I owe it to his future relationships.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-87495897001062415622013-01-16T10:50:00.001-08:002013-01-16T10:50:49.772-08:0014 ReasonsToday is our 14th anniversary! I thought I'd share a few reasons why I love my husband. I decided to limit the number to 14 in keeping with the number of years we've been married, and because, otherwise, we'd be here all day.<br />
<br />
So, here's 14 reasons why I've got the best husband in the world!<br />
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<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">1<span style="font-family: inherit;">4.
He fixes stuff, but he doesn’t try to fix me (anymore.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">13.
He doesn’t watch football.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">12.
He builds things—like our turtle enclosure that looks like a coffin—providing
conversation starters for guests and concerned neighbors.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">11.
His blue eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">10.
He’s a great father and provider.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">9.
He will dance and go to plays with me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">8.
He doesn’t make fun of the fact that I can’t dance or tease me when I sing at
the top of my lungs after seeing <em>Wicked </em>or <em>Les Mis</em>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">7.
He plays the piano and makes my knees weak.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">6.
He has an app to remind him to tell me he loves me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">5.
His geekiness.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">4.
He puts up with things other guys wouldn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">3.
He has never said, “Go get a job.” And only sometimes says, “Stop spending
money.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">2.
He’s an artist.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>1. He supports my dreams and dreams with me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
Happy Anniversary, Honey, and here's to many more years, because it was hard to narrow down my list to 14.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-55667311941901618912013-01-14T20:34:00.000-08:002013-01-14T20:34:09.415-08:00A Book that's Changing MeOk, I have blog guilt. I’ve been neglecting my posts. In case you didn’t know, guilt is not conducive to creativity. I should know, I feel guilty most of the time. Guilty for not limiting my kids’ screen time more. Guilty for eating the wrong things. Guilty for my messy house and all the bitterness I’ve collected over the years.<br />
<br />
I could probably do a weekly post called “Evangeline’s Shortcomings.” But it wouldn’t exactly be riveting reading. I suspect I’m not alone in my talent for finding large sticks to beat myself over the head with.<br />
<br />
But I just finished a book that wedged a stick under my deep-set boulder of guilt and is gently prying it loose from my subconscious. Now as a rule, I don’t read non-fiction, and I confess to being less than enthusiastic about books I label “spiritual,” but <i>A Year of Biblical Womanhood</i> is not what it sounds like. Actually, the full title is <i>A Year of Biblical Womanhood: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on the Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband Master, </i> a title which, had I not been familiar with Rachel's <a href="http://rachelheldevans.com/blog">blog</a>, would've sent me running. <br />
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<br />
Author and well-known blogger Rachel Held Evans undertook a project in which she explores what the Bible really says about women from the female characters in the Bible to Scripture written about women to the Apostle Paul's much-argued instructions for women. She also determined to follow certain guidelines from ancient Levitical laws to 1950s rules for housewives, all in an attempt to better understand the role of women in modern faith communities.<br />
<br />
The result is liberating. Yes, you read that right. Here’s what I found life-changing.<br />
<br />
<b>A more accurate interpretation of Proverbs 31:</b><br />
<br />
Most women who’ve grown up in an evangelical environment have at one point faced what seems to be THE checklist for how to be a perfect woman. There are Bible studies and books on Proverbs 31, but one look at the chapter is all you need to know that even supermoms can't measure up.<br />
<br />
But here’s the thing, Proverbs 31 is a poem in praise of women, in praise of what they ALREADY are doing. It is not a checklist.<br />
<br />
Rachel’s scholarship and writing on <i>Eshet Chayil, </i>Hebrew for Woman of Valor, changed how I view myself and made me want to tell my girl friends, “You are amazing. You are a woman of valor already. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you differently!”<br />
<br />
<b>Equality between the sexes:<br />
</b><br />
I am a feminist, but for years I've apologized for my viewpoint, calling myself a closet feminist and hoping this little belief of mine that women and men are equal in God's sight wouldn't ruffle any feathers. It’s not that I’ve faced any sort of discrimination, but I have balked at subtly communicated prejudices. The reality is that while many churches give lip service to the concept of equality, their actions don’t always back up their words.<br />
<br />
After reading <i>A Year of Biblical Womanhood</i>, I’m tossing out any notions of being quiet on this subject. And not because I feel that I need more rights or more attention, but because across the world women are oppressed and violated and it’s my job to speak up for them, to help encourage revolution in countries where women, if given half a chance, would change the world for the better.<br />
<br />
Rachel quotes the book <i>Half the Sky </i>(also on my reading list) which presents the reality that in devastated third-world countries, women who are given help and opportunities, perform miracles on behalf of the oppressed. In these countries, women are not the problem--as their culture might define it--they are the solution.<br />
<br />
<b>Permission to be uncomfortable:<br />
</b><br />
There are things in the Bible that are uncomfortable. Things that have to be wrestled with. Things that, dare I say it, need some re-interpretation. <br />
<br />
Ironically, acknowledging those things that don’t sit well in my mind makes me more interested in exploring the Bible. I may never understand what Rachel calls “the texts of terror” or find an answer to the question, “Why did God allow this to happen?” But the fact that I have permission to ask, to be uncomfortable, to say, “I don’t know, that doesn’t make sense to me,” is freeing.<br />
<br />
I recognize all of this sounds very serious, but this book has many funny parts too. I even read bits out loud to Kory. I laughed over Rachel’s struggles with a “butter-bleeding apple pie,” her clomp-clomping shoes in a silent monastery, and her tongue-in-cheek call to action against the Cretans.<br />
<br />
I don’t think I’ve ever recommended a non-fiction book on this blog, but this one is life-changing. Read it!Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-32708599445618957022013-01-04T16:55:00.000-08:002013-01-04T16:55:45.473-08:002013, A Vague-ish BeginningThis time of year everyone is picking a word. It’s the thing to do. I believe in equal opportunity for all words and therefore don’t single out one to focus on throughout the year.<br />
<br />
Some of you may know that I pick songs to exemplify my goals for the year. Actually, it’s more like the song picks me. I get a song stuck in my head and somehow it ends up melding with my vague-ish thoughts and feelings about the coming year and my life in general.<br />
<br />
Which is why I’m a little neurotic right now. <br />
<br />
It’s January.<br />
<br />
It’s time for resolutions, goals, or, in my case, vague-ish thoughts and feelings.<br />
<br />
And what song is stuck in my head?<br />
<br />
This one.<br />
<br />
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4wJ-yzL6MFs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
Yeah, I don’t want to own that.<br />
<br />
But, seriously, have you seen the movie yet? I thought it was amazing. Anne Hathaway’s performance will stay with me forever. I know some people are criticizing the vocals, but I think the director’s approach of having the actors sing live in every take brought raw emotion to an already moving story. In fact, I think a perfect and pretty vocal score would be false to the gritty reality portrayed.<br />
<br />
Just go see it if you haven’t already. And if you have, let me know what you thought.<br />
<br />
And for goodness sake, please suggest some songs for me to listen to. My brother and sister-in-law gave me a Florence and the Machine CD for Christmas which I haven’t listened to yet. Maybe I’ll find my 2013 song there.<br />
<br />
So do you make resolutions? Choose a word? Or do you just have goals you plan to pursue?<br />
<br />
Last year my goal was something like surrender (yes, vague-ish) and my song was “Giving up the Gun” by Vampire Weekend. And it was a year of giving things up. Not giving up, mind you, but laying dreams and desires down. I even gave up writing this past fall as the needs of my family weighed heavily on me. It seemed like all the voices in my life were ones of need and there was no voice, other than my own imagination, telling me to write. Thank God for critique partners who understand the pressures of life but also believe in me as a writer. They gave me the freedom to take a breather and focus on the clamoring voices but wouldn’t let me throw in the towel for good.<br />
<br />
So in the absence of a song that isn’t terrifying, the firm refusal to discriminate against words, and the ironic scorn of clichéd resolutions, I present a list of things I’d kind of like to do, maybe this year.<br />
<br />
1. Make memories with my kids that don’t include the words, “Remember that time we sat on the couch and did nothing?”<br />
2. Try to be more professional about writing. You know, stuff like sticking to daily writing times, blogging, and seriously pondering what to do with my website should my husband ever have time to work on it again.<br />
3. Read more books.<br />
4. Spend less money.<br />
5. Drink water.<br />
6. Figure out how to combine the following two letters into meaningful communication. N. O. So far all I’ve managed is, “On, on, on,” which is not producing the hoped-for result. <br />
<br />
How about you? What’s your word? What’s your goal or resolution? Do you pick a song for the year?<br />
<br />
Does the phrase “Life has killed the dream I dreamed” wake you in the dead of night?<br />
<br />
I have <b>GOT</b> to get my Spotify on!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-54759303637804840362012-11-29T17:01:00.000-08:002012-11-29T17:01:55.570-08:00A Little Disaster Preparedness is Always a Good Thing<i>November is almost gone and so is my little blogging holiday. It's been fun sharing some favorite blog posts from Breathe In Breathe Out's history. I look forward to sharing further adventures in womanhood as they ambush me. This post from last fall isn't an experience I'm anxious to repeat, but as long as I'm navigating my various roles, some human error is bound to occur. That's when things get interesting.<br />
<br />
I could always stand to brush up on my...<br />
</i><br />
<b>Disaster Preparedness</b><br />
<br />
We don’t have hurricanes in Colorado. We do have blizzards, but all the preparation they require is a trip to the store for milk and chocolate chip cookie ingredients. <br />
<br />
Nevertheless, I like to be prepared for emergencies. <br />
<br />
That’s why on the first day of school I went to the office and picked up the required paperwork to keep my son’s rescue inhaler at the school. I was wearing my Evangeline is A Responsible Parent hat. EARP for short. <br />
<br />
That’s also why I made arrangements to lie low this weekend while adjusting to a new migraine medication that has a lot of possible side effects. It’s a good thing too, because Saturday was weird. I was dizzy and sleepy and at one point, deep. I tried to explain this to Kory. <br />
<br />
He asked me if I felt hyper-aware of my surroundings. <br />
<br />
“No,” I said, “just deep.” <br />
<br />
He said, “You mean, profound?” <br />
<br />
I said, “No, just deep.” <br />
<br />
Considering my new-found affinity with the Mariana Trench, we agreed that Grandma would drive the boys to school this morning on her way to the YMCA. After all, driving while dizzy and “deep” would not qualify me to wear my EARP hat. <br />
<br />
So Mom and the boys scooted off to school, and I tooled around the house for awhile. Then, right as I was getting in the shower, and I do mean <em>right</em>, the phone rang. <br />
<br />
I grabbed a towel and answered it. <br />
<br />
“Mrs. Denmark, we have your son here in the office. He needs to use his inhaler.” <br />
<br />
Hand to forehead. Towel to floor. <br />
<br />
You see, while I did wear my EARP hat to pick up the paperwork, I didn’t keep it on long enough to fill out said paperwork and get it and the medication back to the school. <br />
<br />
What’s a drugged, naked, vehicle-less woman to do? <br />
<br />
They reassured me that it wasn’t an emergency. Monkey was wheezing but not having an attack. I knew Mom was probably in the pool doing her water exercises and wouldn’t be able to get out quickly. I couldn’t think much beyond that, so I decided to ride my bike—under the influence—to the school and deliver my son’s inhaler. <br />
<br />
Thank God I put clothes on first. <br />
<br />
I did fine until I needed to cross the street. I don’t know why I didn’t do it at the crosswalk as I rode out of our neighborhood. I guess I figured there would be another opportunity further up the road. Or maybe I thought dolphins would appear and ferry me across the street on their backs. <br />
<br />
I kept riding, going past the road I needed to turn on to get to the school. I was now almost to the YMCA where my van was parked. Finally, I just got off my bike and jaywalked across the street and back in the direction I needed to go. <br />
<br />
I’m pretty sure I never got back on my bike after that. I do remember walking up to the school and catching sight of myself in the reflective front door. My bicycle helmet was on backwards. <br />
<br />
I got Monkey his inhaler and—minor miracle—got myself home again. <br />
<br />
But somewhere along the way I lost my EARP hat. I’m probably going to have to get another one anyway. Something like Parent Fail Trust (PFT!) or Do Not Leave Unattended (DNLU), or Doesn’t Understand Medication or Bicycling (DUMB). Or maybe just Woman Trying to Function (WTF). <br />
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-47151054091363455082012-11-20T15:08:00.001-08:002012-11-20T15:08:52.751-08:00The Cat Toy Story (by special request)Today is my mom's birthday and since I'm running "best of" posts from Breathe In Breathe Out's history, I decided to share her favorite blog today. Yes, it's incredibly disturbing that this is my mother's favorite post. Oh, well. The woman has a good sense of humor.<br />
<br />
This post is from December 31st, 2008. Hope it gives you a giggle. It still makes me blush. And please remember this was way before <i>50 Shades of Gray </i>had average women discussing bondage in Costco.<br />
<br />
<b>The Cat Toy Story</b><br />
<br />
Those of you who’ve read my “Anyone Lost Their Panties” entry, know that I’m a practical girl when it comes to undergarments. It may surprise you to discover that I occasionally spend more on underwear than a measly $6.99 for a three pack of panties. Yes, you got it, only on special occasions. <br />
<br />
Last Christmas, I was shopping at Target when I spotted a snazzy little black number in their pajama section. I liked it, but I was on a mission for Christmas presents, so I put myself back on course and steered away from temptation.<br />
<br />
For Christmas that year, I decided to do something a little different. Our anniversary is January 16th, so I booked a room at a B&B in Estes Park where Kory and I honeymooned. I wrapped up the pertinent information and stuck it under the tree as a gift for Kory. <br />
<br />
A few days after Christmas, I was thinking about our upcoming getaway, and I remembered the black lace nightie at Target. I was out shopping, so I took the opportunity to pick it up, expecting that it would be marked down for the after Christmas sales.<br />
<br />
Let me stop a moment and fill in a little back story. We had a special feline guest in our house this time last year. Mom’s editor was out of town for the holidays and had asked us to cat sit for Easy, a very fun and sweet-tempered kitty. We loved playing with Easy but somehow managed to misplace one of her cat toys, a long stick thing with feathers and a bell attached to the end. I suspect one of the boys absconded with it, thinking it was some sort of modified light saber.<br />
<br />
While I was at Target, picking up my skivvies, I remembered we owed Easy a new toy, so I swung over to the pet section and picked up a toy pretty much like the old one. <br />
<br />
Now I know all of you would have the good sense to throw some other things in your cart—garbage bags, laundry soap, Scooby Doo band-aids—whatever. I can be painfully clueless about these things.<br />
<br />
And so it is that I arrived at the check out lane with a black lace baby doll and a long, feathered, whip-like cat toy . . . on New Year’s Eve. I put my items on the conveyor belt and then the reality of the situation hit me. But what could I do? Explain to the clerk that the items were totally separate and had no correlation whatsoever? Like she woulda believed me.<br />
<br />
“Sure, ma’am. Whatever you say.”<br />
<br />
So, this year my second New Year’s resolution (the first was not to de-bone so much as a chicken breast for not only the year but the rest of my life—but that’s another story) is to be just slightly more aware of the world around me in hopes that I will not end up--flushed crimson at the Target check out--paying for a black lace negligee (on sale!) and a feathered cat toy. Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-12037210438601395642012-11-15T14:37:00.000-08:002012-11-15T14:37:34.551-08:00The Princess and the PeeRaise your hand if you're running on caffeine fumes. Yep, that's me. We've had school drama, a minor medical drama (everything is OK), Kory's work schedule is insane, and my laptop died the final death. I'm trying to be upbeat about Thanksgiving next week, but honestly, I want to skip town. But as I searched for a favorite blog post to share this week, I had to smile about our family's adventures. I can't believe this post is from way back when Monkey, now 11, was a squirrely 7-year-old. I hope you enjoy...<br />
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<b>The Princess and the Pee</b><br />
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Have you ever felt vindicated? Yes, I know God says vengeance belongs to Him. And truthfully, I seldom seek revenge. Yes, I might, on occasion leave certain supportive garments on the bathroom doorknob, and maybe that’s a subconscious payback for all the socks my husband leaves on the floor. But, on the whole, I don’t tailgate people who cut me off, or leave poor tips for lousy service. I leave vengeance to Someone better suited for it.<br />
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But this week, I confess to enjoying a sublime moment of vindication not of my own doing. <br />
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Monkey and Chunky started swim lessons on Monday. Monkey loves water. He’s a second generation Monkeyfish. Put that kid in water and he’s as happy, as, well, a clam.<br />
<br />
His class consisted of four or five young swimmers just confident enough to cause trouble. On Tuesday, I noticed the whole class was riled up. At one point the instructor sat them all on the edge of the pool and laid down the law. Bravo, I thought. He’s in control of his class.<br />
<br />
I returned my attention to the book I was reading only to be interrupted moments later. Another mom came over to inform me that my son was “torture splashing” the other kids. <br />
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Really. Torture splashing? Isn’t that a bit of an overstatement? I’ll be the first to admit that Monkey enjoys a splash war as much as the next seven-year-old. But it’s not like the kid is waterboarding his classmates.<br />
<br />
I should have smiled and told the mom that I would watch my son more closely and intervene if necessary. Instead, I went to the side of the pool, crouched down, and chewed out my bewildered child. <br />
<br />
Yeah. Bad Mommy Award for me.<br />
<br />
Monkey got the message and continued his lessons with only minor splashing and acceptable cavorting. <br />
<br />
But, today, my moment to smile came. See, I’ve been bouncing back and forth between the large pool, where Monkey has lessons, and the small pool, where Chunky has lessons.<br />
<br />
More than once, I giggled about the class one level below Chunky’s. Taught by a tough-guy lifeguard, the class consisted of six adorable little girls. Too tiny to be in the water alone, they’d all sit in their frilly Disney Princess swimsuits on the edge of the pool, while Buff Guy showed them the very basics. <br />
<br />
Today, after their lesson, Buff Guy lined them up on the wall and sang “Six Little Monkeys Sitting in a Tree.” Every time the “alligator” snapped, one little girl jumped into the waiting beefy arms of the instructor. Yeah, almost too cute to be legal.<br />
<br />
Except one itty bitty princess should have been wearing a swim pull-up. She pranced. She danced. She squealed. She peed. <br />
<br />
Buff Guy immediately enlisted the help of another nearby, very reluctant, lifeguard, who whisked the Peeing Princess off to the restrooms for probably no reason at all considering she was, by then, done.<br />
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I, and the other parents, looked around for the unfortunate mother of the pool-christening toddler. Who should come hurrying over but the mom who’d accused Monkey of violating The Geneva Convention. <br />
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Yes, I smiled, which was maybe not so Christian of me. But I did not go tap her on the shoulder and say, “Excuse me, your child is using biological warfare against my child.” Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-23216119922713866602012-11-05T21:22:00.001-08:002012-11-05T21:22:11.667-08:00Left Behind (in a bathroom stall)Here in the Denmark household we are all focused on a certain big event happening this week. <br />
<br />
Yep, my birthday is Wednesday!<br />
<br />
No matter who wins the election, remember that November 7th is all about me.<br />
<br />
As a birthday present to myself, this month I've decided to run some of my favorite posts from the past five years.<br />
<br />
Just last week someone asked me about the post I'm sharing today, and as I read through it, I couldn't help but relive those special moments in that stall. Hope you enjoy.<br />
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One more thing, in all seriousness, please head to the polls and vote Tuesday. And as a favor to the general public, while you're in that tiny voting booth, keep track of all your personal items. Don't leave anything behind but your vote!<br />
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And now...<br />
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<b>Anyone Lost Their Panties?</b><br />
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It all started innocently enough. One Sunday morning, I went to the women’s restroom at church. I quickly scooted into the second stall, thankful that, for once, there wasn’t a line. But to my consternation, there on the floor of the stall I saw a pair of tiny, black, lace underwear.<br />
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I pondered.<br />
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Of all the places I might expect to see abandoned panties—the gym locker room, a Victoria’s Secret dressing room, the stage at a Justin Bieber concert—church certainly was not one of them. <br />
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Who did they belong to? <br />
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Why had she taken them off? <br />
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And what sad state of distraction was she in to be wandering around church sans underwear and oblivious to her skivvy-less state?<br />
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Then I got to wondering what God thinks of black lace underwear. I’m not legalistic in the least, but is church really the place for lace lingerie? Don’t get me wrong, if I were wearing such an item of clothing, it wouldn’t be the risqué nature of my undergarments distracting me from the service, but rather the itchiness of the fabric. Maybe that’s why they ended up on the floor of the women’s room.<br />
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I did what I’d come to do and then went to the counter to wash my hands. Another woman entered the restroom. She went into stall number two. Then she came right back out and looked at me, one eyebrow raised. <br />
<br />
“Did you drop something?” she politely asked. <br />
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“No, they were there when I came,” I replied. <i>Still have my granny panties, thank you very much.</i><br />
<br />
She looked back at the minuscule panties. Her voice tinged with reluctance, she asked, “Should we take them to lost and found?” <br />
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I wrinkled my nose. She frowned. Clearly neither of us wanted to carry our anonymous sister-in-Christ’s g-string to the church office. We agreed it was best to leave them be in case our natural friend became aware of a draft beneath her skirt.<br />
<br />
I don’t know what became of the black lace underwear, but I have a vision in my head of a grizzled janitor poking at the tiny pile with the handle of his broom. Far better that than my other mental image: an associate pastor holding them up in front of the congregation. <br />
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“Panties? Anyone lost their panties?” <br />
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-74164222333207246622012-10-26T13:24:00.001-07:002012-10-26T13:24:40.948-07:00A Halloween Bug Story, Part 2Last week in <a href="http://www.breathenbreatheout.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-halloween-bug-story_19.html">A Halloween Bug Story</a>, I told you about our adventurous walk and the critters we encountered.<br />
<br />
Well, we’ve had quite a week with Chunky’s doodle bug, which for some reason he didn’t name until Wednesday when he took it to school for show and tell. <br />
<br />
But let’s back up a few nights. Abject wailing brought me running to Chunky’s room one evening early this week. I found him curled into a roly-poly type ball on the floor. <br />
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“I lost him! He curled up and rolled down my arm. Why would he <b>DO</b> that?”<br />
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We searched and searched Chunky’s room, but couldn’t find the bug.<br />
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Bedtime routine collapsed, and I had to return to his room for more comforting after he’d been tucked in. Finally I told him the story about my rabbit, Peanut, who died of heatstroke when I was little. I cried over Peanut for weeks. But then I got a new bunny named Scooter who heeled like a dog and bit me on the shin once.<br />
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After I showed Chunky my bunny scar, he calmed down and went to sleep. Ah, the magic of scars. An hour or so later, Kory headed upstairs to bed and found the doodle bug laboriously climbing down the steps. We think he was making a break for the front door. No such luck, Buggie. <br />
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We woke Chunky up and pointed to the step where his doodle bug trundled through the carpet pile. You would’ve thought it was Christmas. Boy and reluctant bug reunited. Boy with open palm and radiant face. Bug in insect fetal position.<br />
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The next day we transferred doodle bug to the container we use for feeder crickets for the turtles. Don’t worry, I cleaned it out so doodle bug wouldn’t experience the horror of cricket poo and parts.<br />
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Chunky took him to school where somehow the bug earned the name Alex. But Chunky, who forgets his homework, his lunch tote, water bottle, jacket, and most things not attached to his person, forgot Alex at school.<br />
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This is where it gets grim, folks. Today I made an extra trip to the school to drop off Chunky’s snow boots. My son beamed as he walked toward me in the hall, carrying the cricket cage. We exchanged snow boots for cage and I turned to go, holding the cage up to check on the roly poly.<br />
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“He’s still alive!” Chunky called before disappearing around the corner on his way back to class.<br />
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I eyed the cage again. Dried up apple slice, dried up grass, dried up paper towel. Half-curled, dried-up, definitely-dead doodle bug.<br />
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What am I gonna do?! Chunky comes home in an hour! There’s snow on the ground so there’s no way I can find another roly poly in time. <br />
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I’m looking guilty here, people.<br />
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“Natural causes” won’t suffice as an explanation to my eight-year-old.<br />
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Maybe cake and chocolate milk will soften the blow.<br />
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Or I could run downstairs and see if I can get my mother’s rabbit to bite me. <br />
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Either way, I'm in for some drama.<br />
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<br />
Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8966669004247225428.post-35564257796845432822012-10-19T16:29:00.000-07:002012-10-19T16:29:43.928-07:00A Halloween Bug StoryI dragged my boys out for a walk this morning. Believe it or not, they didn’t sizzle in direct sunlight. Though to hear Monkey tell it, I led them on an epic cross-country journey fraught with peril, misery and starvation. We’re looking into a diagnosis of “hobbit” for him.<br />
<br />
Not far into our adventure, Chunky discovered a doodle bug. He scraped it up into his hand and instantly fell in love with the tiny creature. When it uncurled and crawled up his arm, he <i>knew</i> his doodle bug loved him back.<br />
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We kept walking, made it to our agreed upon turning point and headed home. When we started out, Monkey had asked how long our walk would be. I said, “About 15 or 20 minutes.” He promptly set an alarm on his iPod. I don’t know what he planned to do when the timer went off. Probably sit right down on the ground and refuse to budge another inch.<br />
<br />
But I was saved this embarrassment. Monkey also found a doodle bug. <br />
<br />
Both boys trailed after me, hands cupped around their little insect friends. They didn’t see the giant beetle ambling across our path until I pointed him out.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj74zZ4Y3XYYM9pSB1Aimsj4HZBD9kZOdfyP0Bv7hb1uteJcEAROUS6SLKvMu8ce3zdk_Yh3_ofr-YmiZlPv78nfb3bbkoS6uBqgnOuE5hHuCLaWaK3H79EW0XE7EsHqyrVgjTo-XE-FI/s1600/halloweenbeetle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj74zZ4Y3XYYM9pSB1Aimsj4HZBD9kZOdfyP0Bv7hb1uteJcEAROUS6SLKvMu8ce3zdk_Yh3_ofr-YmiZlPv78nfb3bbkoS6uBqgnOuE5hHuCLaWaK3H79EW0XE7EsHqyrVgjTo-XE-FI/s320/halloweenbeetle.jpg" /></a></div><br />
We stopped to investigate. Monkey was all for squishing him, but I argued, “No, he’s cool. Look he’s black and orange. He’s a Halloween beetle.”<br />
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We watched the Halloween beetle, speculating on his coloring. (Chunky thought somebody had painted him.) But in a careless moment, disaster struck. Monkey dropped his roley-poley right in the Halloween beetle’s trajectory. <br />
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We held our breath. Maybe the big bug would leave the smaller one alone.<br />
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Nope! The monster beetle sniffed the doodle bug, then it grabbed Monkey’s new buddy and curled around the helpless thing like a six-legged burrito. <br />
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We tried to save the doodle bug. Monkey stamped his foot close to the beetle to scare him into letting go, but it was no use. When it became clear that the roley-poley wouldn’t survive, Monkey ended the whole tragic scene with one good stomp.<br />
<br />
Now a black and orange smear is the only thing that remains of the incident.<br />
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Chunky’s roley-poley made it home and now has some cushy new digs in a plastic tub. Chunky plans to introduce his bug to a classmate’s inexplicably female doodle bug. He’s convinced we’ll have a doodle bug family before too long. I’m pretty sure he’s thinking along these lines:<br />
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<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/G1tKLH1Da4Y" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
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As for the other bug. Let’s hope he’s gone to a better world and won’t return to haunt that particular square of pavement.Evangeline Denmarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12751937297015889994noreply@blogger.com1