Now I’m a little slow, so it’s taken me until now to put some things together that might be glaringly obvious to more astute folks. It seems I am being prodded by the Powers That Be to explore a more proactive approach to life.
I have one of those highly-opinionated and yet non-confrontational personality combinations that probably has produced a few lunatics over the course of history. I’m the kind of woman who will secretly hate the Christmas lights my husband picked out but not say anything for years and years because I wouldn’t want to upset him. Then one day, in response to a completely unrelated argument, I make some comment about cheesy blue Christmas lights (this is hypothetical, did I say that?) and poor Kory discovers the truth. And lo and behold, he is upset.
I never said being non-confrontational was a good thing. In fact, that gets me back to my point which is good because it’s very easy for me to digress. Ooh, look, shiny!
I wouldn’t call myself a doormat, unless it was one of those “We put the fun in dysfunctional” mats you see in catalogs. But I am passive, reluctant to rock the boat, wishy washy, namby pamby, gutless.
This week I surprised myself by making a bold decision. I thought about it, prayed about it, and then, astonishingly, carried through. And you know what? It was absolutely the right thing to do, and I feel great about it.
My friend’s gentle wake-up call came shortly after The Decision. However, I didn’t assimilate the whole “Get off your backside” message until I was slogging away on the elliptical. (Yes, Bubba and I find ourselves in need of serious fat reduction once again.)
I was huffing and puffing on the lowest setting, listening to one of my favorite CDs, and thinking about my new work in progress. The novel I’ve just started writing is about a women who--through circumstances and her own choices--finds herself living in a muffled, hazy world. One day she opens a door and discovers life beyond her wildest dreams. It looks like this novel will require some very hands-on research. No, I’m not going to go around opening every door I find. (Whoops! Sorry. Didn’t see the ‘Occupied’ sign.) But I am going to try to recognize opportunities and respond to them with something more than the slurping, snorting sounds of a woman half asleep.
And so I dub 2009 the Year of the Spine. I plan to finally grow one. And here is the song that got my attention and made me re-think the events of my week. It’s now one of two on my playlist for my new novel. I think I’ll make the chorus my personal mantra for the year.