My husband is pretty secure in his masculinity and thus able to withstand most chick flicks I hurl at him. Although his tastes run more toward Face Punch that Love Spelled Backwards is Love, he tolerates almost anything as long as it doesn’t have Meryl Streep in it.
The other night I lured him into watching New Moon with the promise of decent special effects. I felt slightly uncomfortable, just like I did when we watched Twilight together. I kept waiting for him to turn to me, raise one eyebrow and say, “Really?”
But like I said, he’s pretty tolerant.
Then about the time Bella starts to figure out that Jacob is a werewolf, Kory let out a small exasperated sigh and said, “Why don’t they throw in a couple more mythical creatures for her to fall in love with? Like a warlock or a goblin…”
“Or a troll,” I suggested.
“Right,” he muttered.
We went back to watching the movie. All was quiet. Then my husband grunted in mock torture, “Thag love Bella.”
I dissolved into laughter but pulled it together to play my part. “I love you, too, Thag. But you’re too good for me.”
“Thag will always be troll. Always live under bridge. Bella must live happy life without Thag.”
“No, Thag! Make me a troll too! Then we can live under the bridge together forever!”
“But, Bella . . . oh, . . . hold on a sec. Hey you! Yeah, you in rain jacket. You no cross bridge. You bring Thag two juicy goats. Then cross bridge.”
That’s about the time I lost it. Ever since my first pregnancy when Kory discovered that if he made me laugh too hard I’d pee, he’s regarded that ability as a super power and sought to repeat those moments of glory. Cruel, cruel man.
I recovered--after a trip to the bathroom--and Kory restrained his extracuricular comments for the rest of the movie, but I'm not sure I'll ever be able to watch New Moon again without thinking of poor Thag and his undiscovered storyline.
Anyway whether you’re a troll, a vampire, a clumsy girl, or an ordinary person with an unreliable bladder, one thing is true: All relationships require compromise. I think I owe my husband a guy movie night. Any suggestions?
The Writer Who Speaks
3 days ago