When I was little and would get myself into scrapes by not using my noggin, my mom and older brother would affectionately call me “Dunderbunny.” While never as impulsive as my son, Captain ADHD, I still managed to act without thinking a little more often than one might expect.
However, now that I am a responsible, almost-thirty mother, my fluffy-headed alter ego is gone for good. Or so I thought until today.
Now, before I tell you what I did, let me tell you my private, prideful opinion of myself. I think I’m smart. Yep. I do. I have reasons. Want to hear them?
1. I managed to graduate from college magna cum laude after giving birth to the first prince of Denmark thereby submitting myself to eternal servitude of His Majesty the Great and Drooling Monkey.
2. I am married to an engineer. Engineers cannot abide stupid people. Therefore, I must be smart.
3. My mommy has always told me I’m brilliant, and who could be more unbiased than her?
They’re good reasons, huh? Now, I know I’m not a rocket scientist, but I’ve always thought I was on the curvy side of the bell. As it turns out, I’m flatter than I thought, intellectually speaking.
Today I got into the car to take Monkey to school, opened the garage door, and backed out. Problem: my friend Kim’s Expedition was right behind me. Dunderbunny strikes again! Yes, I crunched her car and my van, but I couldn't have picked a nicer person to hit. She assured me that her schedule was open for a fender bender at this time and made it sound like I’d done her a favor by hitting her car today instead of yesterday or next week.
My husband didn’t find my timing quite so convenient, which goes to show you, there really never is a good time to be stupid. I guess I better try some IQ builders. Maybe if I wag my head from side to side that’ll beef up my brain muscles. No, that’s not working. I feel dizzy.
2 days ago