And Now it's Time...

...for another Mild-Mannered Missionary Moment with Mary. For those of you who are just joining us, this post is one of a series on my friend Mary, who suffered a judgment lapse one day and agreed to let me tell snippets of her adventurous life. So, here we go:

I’ve had some good suggestions about my pajama predicament, but I have to hand the Golden Toothbrush of Originality to Mild-Mannered Missionary Mary. When she heard about the sad state of my non-sexy winter nightwear, MMM Mary recommended a cozy sweat suit with tantalizing lingerie sewn onto the appropriate areas. I thought this was a great idea since those undergarments are bound to look better on a sweat shirt and pants than they ever would on my actual person.

Perhaps a few of you out there are surprised that Mild-Mannered Missionary Mary was the one to suggest this alluring pajama compromise. Maybe now is a good time to make it clear that Mary’s title is meant to be ironic. Think Clark Kent to Superman.

But now that family life has Mary wearing her meek disguise more often, she’s discovered an interesting way to keep things spicy with Bill, the other half of the dynamic missionary duo.

When Bill heads off on a dangerous mission, Mary likes to pack a little something in his hero gear so that he knows she’s thinking of him. Now this sentiment has backfired once or twice. Like the time Bill set off the metal detector in the airport and had to empty his pockets. Imagine his surprise when he discovered Mary’s underwire in his trench coat pocket. Or the time a mishap sent luggage tumbling from the overhead compartment. Out fell a leopard print item of clothing that had other passengers raising their brows.

I guess it’s the thought that counts. And MMM Mary certainly is thoughtful. In fact, after this post, I bet she’ll be putting a lot of thought into whether or not she should revoke my exclusive reporter privileges. I hope she doesn’t because I think it’s important that the world know the truth behind the façade. Mary may look like an ordinary housewife, but underneath it all is . . . leopard skin tights?

This Just In! Apparently MMM Mary and her globe-traveling husband (whom we call Bill) were once caught in a clinch at Tom Sawyer's Island in Disneyland. Never fear. Your intrepid reporter will get the scoop. Tune in next time for "Romantic Trysts: Superhero Style."