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    Friday, June 12, 2009


    I had trouble coming up with a blog topic this week. I mentioned my brain dead condition on Facebook, and one of my especially helpful readers offered some suggestions. Rather than pick just one, I thought I’d give you my useless thoughts on all of her clever ideas.

    So here are my topics courtesy of The Perky Pessimist.

    chocolate. your car. limed government. antidisestablishmentarianism. cartoons. other bloggers. potato salad. gardening. music. sculpture. the czech republic. body hair. consipiracy theories. area 51. insects. the american revolution. stuffed animals. hyperboles. superbowls. kitchen gadgets. home improvement. coming to my swap party.

    Here goes.

    Chocolate: I’m on a diet, so the only chocolate I can have is the 85% cocoa that takes just like baking chocolate. In case you’re wondering, yes, I’m desperate enough to eat that, too.

    Your car: Home to soured juice boxes, petrified nuggets, about a dozen hats, countless Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons, crumbs as multiple as beach sand, and a mysterious, yellowish stain.

    Limed government: This sounds like a great name for a cocktail.

    Antidisestablishmentarianism: I actually used the word antidisestablishmentarian in the first chapter of my novel, Brandy and The Vine. I know what you’re thinking, that I’m an overgrown teacher’s pet. But the word fit the character of Brandy, who did not want to be anything like her hippie grandparents.

    Cartoons: Did you know there’s a Super Mario Brothers cartoon? It’s stupid.

    Other bloggers: Probably don’t waste your time on stream-of-consciousness entries.

    Potato salad: Is Amish potato salad made by Amish people or made out of Amish potatoes?

    Gardening: I don’t like to be outside.

    Music: I make soundtracks for the novels I write. My current one features a lot of Dido. Also, not that it matters, but David Gray’s music turns me on.

    Sculpture: I can make an awesome Play-do worm.

    The Czech Republic: Also mentioned in Brandy and The Vine.

    Body hair: One of the many things I don’t like about summer is shaving my legs every day. I inherited my dad’s prolific follicles, but at least they’re not sprouting from my ears, or my nose, or my back, or my chest.

    Conspiracy theories: The government is watching me through my Blackberry.

    Area 51: A cover-up for Area 52.

    Insects: Monkey and Chunky ate them at The San Diego Zoo.

    The American Revolution: Freed us from British rule as well as their unimaginative culinary skills.

    Stuffed animals: Chunky’s favorite is Goobert.

    Hyperboles: I cannot believe that I had to look this up even though I majored in English! Isn’t that insane!?!

    Superbowls: I hate football.

    Kitchen gadgets: The boys think my salad spinner is the coolest thing ever. I’m constantly finding it around the house, loaded with Matchbox cars, Legos, underwear.

    Home improvement: These words in any way connected with me will send my husband into uncontrollable laughter. I’m not handy.

    Coming to my swap party: Now I understand that I can bring clothes or scarves or jewelry that I don’t wear or household items I no longer need. But can I swap my children?


    Me said...

    You can only swap your children if you find someone at the party who is willing to do a straight trade. While you can leave unwanted "stuff" at my house for donation, I am going to make sure that everyone leaves with at least as many kiddos as they show up with. Hubby would not be happy with "extras."

    Very funny blog.

    Andrea said...

    Toooo funny!

    Jennifer (jkincolorado) said...

    You're so creative!! I can't believe you addressed all those topics.

    I have no idea who David Gray is - I'll have to look him up and see if he turns me on too :)

    Kelley said...

    hmmm...salad spinner. What a great new summer bordom buster...may have to get one.

    Sara said...

    dark chocolate is wonderful, how can potatos be Amish? I wasn't aware they could have a spiritual leaning :P, and get rid of the Blackberry, just to confound them!