Last week brought bad news on more than one level. No, no one is dying. Except for my women’s fiction novel’s chances of getting published. I know in five years I’ll probably be thankful my early attempts never reached more than my supportive critique circle. But I’m not there yet. And I’m thinking, “Why isn’t it good enough?”
Even as my agent broke the news that my proposal was on life support, she encouraged my most recent efforts in a different genre. “Keep working. Keep going in this direction. This is better.”
Her words came back to me on Saturday when we took the boys on a surprise trip to Santa’s Workshop. We piled in the van without telling Monkey and Chunky where we were going. But, of course, they could read the fun mood in the car and began peppering us with guesses. My husband and I grinned at their excruciating excitement.
“Are we going swimming at the Y?”
“Maybe,” my husband said. But we soon passed the turn off for the YMCA.
“Are we going to Art Sports?” they asked.
“We could do that, I suppose,” Kory said. But we didn’t.
We drove by the putt-putt course and the boys frantically begged, “Can we play golf?”
When we passed the exit for mini-golf, the kids got upset. “Dad,” Monkey whined, “why can’t we play golf?”
I turned back and smiled at him. “Don’t worry. This is better.”
My boys were impatient for the good thing to happen now. They would have settled for swimming at the Y when we had something much, much better planned for them.
And here I am getting worked up, just like an over eager seven-year-old, because my writing path hasn’t gone where I thought it would. I want to be at the destination now, but what if God has something even better planned for me?
Kory and I had so much fun keeping our wonderful secret, but, of course, we didn’t enjoy our children’s panic and frustration when we passed by the places they thought we should go. Luckily, they listened when we told them to trust us and wait for the treat that was coming.
Can I do the same? Trust and wait. Yes, on a good day. On a bad day, I still ask, “Why isn’t this good enough?” Silly Evangeline. Don’t settle for the neighborhood pool when you could go all the way to the amusement park.
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