Instead I thought I’d express my devotion for a certain something I’ve been missing lately. You see, I’ve gone four whole weeks without eating CHEESE.
I’m pretty sure this is some kind of experiment in sociopathic behavior brought on by food deprivation. I keep expecting to see guys in white coats shadowing me and documenting my every outburst.
But the torture is almost over. Soon I will be reunited with the object of my affection. As you can see, I’ve made a few preparations for the big day.
I even wrote a poem.
Cheese, I love you.
Cheese, I do.
I bought a special pill.
So you won’t go right through.
Cheese, it seems an eternity,
That we have been apart.
My meals are sad without you.
Holes of Swiss gape in my heart. (Yeah, I wanted to rhyme something else with “apart,” but my mom reads this blog.)
Oh, Cheese, how I have wished
That you would come to stay.
My love, the wait is almost over.
I’ll devour you on Saturday.
Good enough for a Hallmark card, don’t you think?
One of the things I’m excited to make with all my glorious cheese, is a low-carb chocolate almond cheesecake. Let me know if you’d like the recipe and I’ll gladly share it in the comments or by email.
If anyone out there has a good cheese soup recipe, I’d love to have it. I’ve had trouble finding a good one. I think the next recipe I’ll be trying is Cheesy Chipotle Soup. I sure hope my trusty enzymes and probiotics are ready for that one.
In case you’re wondering, I’m not lactose intolerant. Apparently, I am “lactose challenged.” I wonder if I can get one of those magnetic ribbons to go on my car so I can raise awareness for the cause. Should I organize a walkathon? Maybe I should go to counseling to learn how to deal with my disability. Or, I could just take my little pill and stop blogging about my indigestion.
4 comments:
Ha. I SOOO relate. I went a month without cheese as well on the Paleo diet. There's a theory that all of us should do without, but it's a wicked school of thought. Life without queso? Not worth the living.
I have a yummy cheese soup recipe. Remind me tomorrow night.
E, I sometimes wonder how I lived all those years without having you as a friend. No OTB nights. No cheese poetry.
Such a boring life before-E.
Ask me for Nate's recipe for psole.
I've heard that people with lactose issues usually don't have issues with raw milk and raw milk products. Hope that you can enjoy your cheese again very soon!
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