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    Monday, May 21, 2012

    Tooth Fairy Drop-Out


    Our Tooth Fairy is second rate. I wonder if I could explain to my kids that their fairy dropped out of high school, flunked her entrance exam to Tooth Compensation School twice, and is holding on to her job by a thread of dental floss?

    Some of you might remember last year’s Epic Tooth Fairy Fail and the resulting tears from my youngest. Well, I had a chance to redeem myself this weekend.

    On Saturday Chunky lost a tooth while getting a haircut. The girls at Great Clips thought this was adorable and made a fuss over him. Being Chunky, he enjoyed the attention tremendously.

    We wrapped the tooth in a tissue and stuck it in my purse to take home. Where it stayed. Sunday morning he told me he didn’t get anything from the Tooth Fairy because he’d forgotten to put the tooth in the special little pillow with a pocket. I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful he’d come to this conclusion all by himself.


    All day yesterday I reminded myself we had Tooth Fairy duty that night. You’d think I would’ve picked up some cash while I ran errands, but no. Bedtime came and Chunky asked for a piece of paper to write the Tooth Fairy a note.

    He composed his letter and tucked it into the pillow pocket with his tooth and a pen for the Tooth Fairy to use to write him back.

    We got the boys in bed and headed down to watch Doctor Who, because that is what I’m doing with my life these days. Naturally, I forgot about Tooth Fairy duty until Kory appeared in the bathroom door while I brushed my teeth sometime around 11:30 PM. He held up Chunky’s note and said, “I think this is your department.”

    Sure enough, Chunky had written a sweet little letter all about losing his tooth while getting a haircut. He asked the Tooth Fairy to write him a note on the back of the paper.

    After a moment of panic, I had an idea. A family friend had given each boy a two dollar bill when they were little. Because the boys didn’t really understand the concept of money at the time, I stowed the bills in my jewelry armoire. Perfect!

    I dug out one of the two dollar bills, found a sparkly pink pen, and set to work writing a letter in swirly handwriting that in no way resembles my own. The Tooth Fairy told Chunky how special and rare it was to lose a tooth while getting a haircut and that such an event warranted a special and rare two dollar bill. I tucked the note and the money in his pillow and went to bed.


    Tooth Fairy Win!

    Right?

    This morning when I woke up I put off getting into the shower because I wanted to be there when Chunky found his stash. When he slept a little later than usual, I went in, scratched his back, and let Willie the Heeler “snuggle” him awake.

    Finally, he came out of his room and trotted over to the pillow hanging on the banister. (We convinced him to hang the pillow there so it’d be easy for the Tooth Fairy to do her job, hopefully resulting in fewer flub-ups.)

    My heart squeezed as he read the Tooth Fairy’s letter and broke into a gappy grin.

    Yes! Tooth Fairy Win!

    I left him admiring his two dollar bill and headed for the shower.

    A few minutes later, I stepped out of the shower to hear a knock on the bathroom door.

    “Yes?”

    “Mommy?” Chunky said. “Why does my two dollar bill have my brother’s name on it?”

    %&$#@&!

    "Well, you see, honey, your Tooth Fairy is ‘special’ . . . "

    3 comments:

    Krysti said...

    Yes, we have a substandard tooth fairy at this house too. She inevitably forgot to swap tooth for money. However, the kids weren't particularly interested in giving her their teeth either. They INSISTED that they ought to be able to keep the teeth AND collect the money too. We had more than one fight with the tooth fairy over this...

    kersley.fitz said...

    Krysti, the Creature recently went that route! Made it easy for me, because he said he'd rather have the tooth than the money.

    Jennifer ♥ said...

    HA!! I didn't see that ending coming!! So close...

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